A Little Breakthrough

“Breakthrough”⛈☀️🌱 from Storybloom

Making flower cups almost every day, how can I not create one that tells my own story?

For all my life I’d prepared and seen myself as an English teacher only because of my passion for words and languages grown since childhood. And my days were awesome — living in glamorous la la land, graduating from a prestigious college, going on numerous breathtaking road trips, etc. Looking back I’d say my life was quite perfect. So many once-in-a-lifetime things were checked off, and so many irreplaceable memories and histories were made. Until one day all the overwhelming pressure put me in a black hole and kept me in a dreadful nightmare loop — I found out I was really sick. Ever since then, I haven’t taught a thing anymore and have been trying to discover alternative directions, which is very very hard. A voice in my head is still urging me to go back and teach English now.

Mental illness is a real tough battle, and mine is constantly changing between better and worse. Sometimes I’m really depressed; Sometimes I’m really hypomanic. And living here in Hong Kong, there’s so much stigma that costs fear and misunderstanding in the society. This place really needs more people of authority and organizations to speak up for us all.

I’m fortunate enough to have found a connection with flowers. Flowers always bring me serenity and boost my energy in times of darkness. My bedroom has soon become a flower sea, for there’re fresh blooms pretty much everywhere. And that’s when I started the Storybloom page on Instagram on impulse to share my flowers and hopefully bring other people some light whenever they need. Maybe others will see the happiness I see in the beautiful blooms too. I think this is a quite good compromise for me at the moment too, because in a way it satisfies both my infatuation with flowers and my love for English writing. It’s more time consuming than it seems to think of a name and description for each floral work that I make though, since there’re way too many options to choose.

This messy flower cup represents my story — the sunshine and rainbow are completely drowned by the fierce ocean, as the silver blue hydrangeas completely cover those colorful pink, lime, and yellow petals. The white rosy ship in the middle was trying to head to somewhere, somewhere it can find peace and guidance, but now is stuck in the middle of the sea with no sight of a lighthouse. However, who knew greenery could actually break through and grow in the sea? Perhaps that’s what hope and resilience can do. Maybe the toughest times are the finest experiences after all. It sounds crazy and torturing, though.

It’s funny that my own version of Storybloom consists of ocean as it always gives me chills. I always wonder how deep the sea is and what that place looks like. It must be pitch black and freaking freezing there. I don’t know how to swim and am afraid of water, but at the same time I just love staring at the water, listening to the waves crashing the shore. The sound of waves can calm my soul effortlessly. I also love the dolphins so so much. Ocean seems to be a complication to me — it means fear, blindness, uncertainty, serenity, freedom, and liveliness all at once.

Anyway, I hope your Storybloom is always delightful and hopeful, and that no matter what happens, you’ll keep fighting and believe in the best of yourself. ☀️

Midnight, 8.12.2017

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